The Secret Origin of Jimmy Two Shoes
by Cybertoy00
Summary: How did Jimmy come to Miseryville? Why would he stay? And how did he meet all of his current friends and Lucius? Find out in tonight's episode of Miserypiece theater! Hosted by Dr. Scientist!
1. Welcome to Miseryville

Prologue-

"Velcome to Miserypiece Theater," Said Dr. Scientist. He was sitting in an armchair by a roaring fire. Instead of his usual white lab coat, he wore red, monogrammed bedtime robes, and a fez. "Tonight's show is centered on Miseryville's most cheerful, energetic, and all around unbelievably strange resident- Jimmy Two Shoes! Many of you know of Jimmy, yah- _Would you be quiet?_"

At this admonishment, the fire ceased roaring. Instead it began to purr quietly.

Dr. Scientist nodded. "Much better. Now, then, as I vas saying, many of you know about Jimmy, yah? His likes, his dislikes, his obscure personal hygienic treatments- especially, Heloise…" He shuddered for a moment. "But, do you know _vhy _someone like Jimmy would live in Miseryville? Vhere did he come from? Vhat circumstances brought him to Miseryville? And why can't our all-powerful leader Lucius Heinous VII can't just kick him out?"

Dr. Scientist hopped off of his armchair and walked towards the fire.

"Prepare to several of zhose questions possibly answered right now, as we look into _Zhe Secret Origins of Jimmy Two Shoes!_" Dr. Scientist paused for a second, then waved to the fire. "Now, now, do it now!"

The fire began to roar, and letters flew out from the flames.

_**The Secret Origins of Jimmy Two Shoes**_

_By Cybertoy00_

_Based off of the original concept for _Jimmy Two Shoes

Jimmy Two Shoes _is property of Edward Kay…or at least originated by him._

Part 1-

The story begins in an average suburb, in an average town, in an average state, in an average country…somewhere in the North American continent. It was a place full of average people, good, happy people. The kind of place that only exists in early sitcoms, like _Leave It To Beaver_, or _The Brady Bunch_.

_("Ve get it! Move on!" Screamed Dr. Scientist)_

Living there was a young boy, just entering his teen years…or just leaving childhood. However his physical maturity could be defined, one thing was certain; this lad's name was Jimmy.

_("Dun dun dun!")_

One fine spring morning, Jimmy stepped out of his front door to greet the world. "Morning, world!" he greeted as the sun shone off of his blond hair.

"Morning, Jimmy."

Jimmy looked over to his left at an elderly man watering the grass. "Morning, Mr. McGillycuddy!"

"Best be careful, Jimmy," Mr. McGillycuddy said placidly, "Rumor has it a truck is going out of control somewhere."

Jimmy shrugged. "Well, I'm sure it won't affect any of us. Stuff like that _never_ happens here!"

Mr. McGillycuddy shrugged and focused on his drowning lawn. Smiling, Jimmy bounded off down the sidewalk. As he went, he waved to the various people he met along the way; A little old lady walking her yappy dog, another kid on a newspaper route, an out of control wheelbarrow…

CRASH!

…Which collided into a tree on the opposite sidewalk from where Jimmy was. Jimmy stared at it for a moment, shrugged, and walked off smiling.

"Boy, it feels good to live in this neighborhood," Jimmy thought out loud, "Even _with _overwatered lawns and runaway wheelbarrows. Knowing how lucky I am to live here just makes me want to _sing!_"

_("No! Don't sing!" Dr. Scientist interrupted)_

"But living around here makes me wanna!" Jimmy complained.

_("No singing!" Dr. Scientist insisted, "Get to zhe good part!")_

"Oh, all right…" Jimmy sighed. He then felt his stomach rumble. Looking across the street, he spied a vending machine full of snack foods on the opposing corner. Smiling he took one step out into the street when he stopped. Jimmy cautiously looked left. No vehicle approaching. Jimmy cautiously looked right. All clear on that end. Feeling safe and sound, Jimmy confidently began his march towards the snacks. He then heard a loud horn blaring, and looked.

The last thing he saw was the front grill of a truck before darkness claimed him.

_("Incidentally, zhat was not zhe truck mentioned by the hose man," Dr. Scientist confided, "_Zhat _truck was going out of control _avay _from Jimmy's neighborhood.")_

When Jimmy woke up, he found himself surrounded by darkness…or was it dark? The room he was in was devoid of color, or light, but it was hard to tell whether or not it was dark. His mind couldn't figure it out. He also realized that he was sitting in a chair the same not-color of the room. On the floor directly ahead of him was a large clock, but something seemed off about it. For one thing, it looked rather melted, like something out of a Salvidore Dali painting. Its face held no numbers, and instead of two hands, one large and one small, it had five, medium-sized. Each hand went in an opposite direction, which should not have been possible.

Jimmy's brain would have told him this, but Jimmy's attention was drawn by voices. Not that he had heard voices_…_it was as if his brain was telling him that he had heard voices while his ears had been excluded from the process. Looking to where his brain had told him the voices had come from. Across from Jimmy were an innumerable about of floating robes. Not robed people, just…robes. The not-voices were coming from them, Jimmy's brain said.

How could this have happened? One said.

This is the third one this month, one said

It is His fault, one said, He became too close to the people, and became one of them.

People make mistakes, one said, that is why you cannot become one of them.

I think we should have a talk with Him, one said, and noticed that the other ones were looking at him. He asked, what?

You said 'I', one said accusingly, you are becoming a person too!

No…no! One protested, to become a person is to live, and to live is to die, I would never- one vanished in a puff of irregular logic.

Let that be a lesson, one said. Are we agreed?

We are agreed, they all said.

Now, we must deal with this other mistake, one said.

It took Jimmy a few minutes to realize that they were talking about _him_. Waving sheepishly, he said, "Uh, hi…I'm Jimmy, and…"

You should not be here, one said.

"I shouldn't? I mean…" Clearing his throat, Jimmy stood up and declared, "That's right, I shouldn't! Shouldn't I?"

Go down that hall, one ordered.

"What hall?" Jimmy asked, and looked around. For the first time, he saw an archway leading into a dark hall. "Huh. Didn't see that before."

Once you reach the end, give the man in the uniform your papers, one said, and he will send you where you must go.

"But I don't have any papers…" Jimmy began, and felt around in his pockets. Much to his surprise, there was an envelope with a J on one side in his left pocket! "Whoa! How'd you guys know that was in there? Hey, are you psychic?"

Now go, one said.

"Seriously, I didn't think I could _fit _one of these…" Jimmy continued saying as he walked down the newly-discovered hall.

_("Weren't zhose guys SPOOKY?" Asked Dr. Scientist)_

Jimmy walked down the hallway, staring at the envelope in his hands. So many questions were buzzing in his grey matter. Who were those strange floating hoods? Where was he exactly? And did this place have a bathroom somewhere?

So intent on pondering these things, Jimmy didn't see the person running up to him until they collided, causing their envelopes to fall.

"Oof!" Jimmy grunted as his buttocks hit the floor. On the other end of the collision was a boy, shorter than Jimmy, dressed in old, torn clothing. A jacket, scarf, and newsboy cap was the most noticeable part of his ensemble.

Helping the other kid up, Jimmy asked, "Where's the fire, dude?"

The other boy didn't answer. Instead, he looked back, went "Peep!" scooped one envelope off the floor and fled. A minute later two large, red men dressed in tiger-skin suits stormed passed Jimmy in pursuit.

"You can't run forever, Jamie!" One of them yelled.

Jimmy watched them go. "Okay…that was random." Looking down, he picked the remaining envelope off the floor. "Hope my envelope didn't get mixed up with his…that would be _really _confusing!"

_(Dr. Scientist burst out laughing hysterically, before calming down and resuming his composure) _

Finally, after much walking, the hall led Jimmy into another room. In it, there were some train tracks and a little cart, like the kind on a roller coaster. There was a control panel next to it, and at the controls was a pale man in a janitor's uniform. He was asleep.

"Um, hellooo?" Jimmy said hesitantly, waving.

The pale man opened one eye.

"The floating robes told me to give you this." Jimmy said, holding out the envelope.

The pale man took the envelope and tore it open. He read the letter inside, stared at it, and looked at Jimmy. "And you look like such a nice boy, too."

"Thanks! I try." Jimmy beamed.

The pale man rolled his eyes. "Get in the cart."

Grinning, Jimmy did so. The pale man walked over and pulled down the safety bar. Once he was done with that, the pale man began to punch commands into his console.

"Please keep your hands, feet, or any other part of your body within the cart at all times," The pale man said in a dull voice, "Management cannot be held responsible for any physical injury, mental trauma, or deterioration of the soul. You made your bed, now sleep in it. Have a nice existence, Jamie."

"Thanks for the tip," Jimmy said, "But my name's not…"

Jimmy's words became a blur as the cart rocketed down the tracks, reaching eighty miles per hour with two seconds. The pale man watched him go, then glanced back at the letter.

"…Looked different in the photo they included, too." He decided.

Jimmy, meanwhile, was going at speeds beyond which no boy had gone before…except for the lucky kids whose parents can afford to take them to amusement parks like-

_("No! Don't say names!" Dr. Scientist interrupted, "Copyright laws!")_

Erm, in any case, Jimmy was reaching such incredible velocity that he felt his face peeling off of his skull. Soon he was going so fast that he _couldn't _feel his face peeling off of his skull. In fact, he couldn't feel anything! Not even the cart he was in.

That was because for some inexplicable reason, jimmy was no longer in the cart, or on the tracks. Not that there were any tracks around. When Jimmy became aware of this change, he fell, tumbling into the grass. He rolled down the hill he was now on until he crashed into a garbage can, sending it flying into the air. Groaning, Jimmy stood up and got his bearings.

"That was fun, except for the sudden stop…" Jimmy said dizzily. Shaking his head, he looked around him.

The skies were an ominous mix of yellow and red. Three suns floated above. There was a city before Jimmy, and on the other side he could see a large building with six smokestacks, each with a green fire on top, like some sort of demonic birthday cake. And the city itself was full of strange, monster-like people of all shapes and sizes. There were large television screens on the city buildings, on billboards, and on blimps, showing a red face with an upturned nose and horns on the top of its head.

"Welcome to **MISERYVILLE!**" A dark voice boomed from…somewhere.

Jimmy gasped. "…_Awsmazing!_"

Jimmy ran around giddily. He looked this way and that, trying to take in all of the new sights. He had never been in a city like this before! So many new sights! Such tall buildings! And the people! There were people with green skin, blue skin, plaid skin, multiple arms, multiple legs, multiple _heads_, tentacles in place of arms, the list went on…!

Jimmy couldn't take it anymore. Jumping up on a mailbox, he screamed, "_This place is AMAZING!_"

The mailbox suddenly exploded, shooting Jimmy up into the sky as he shrieked wildly. Off to the side, a monster with orange skin, three arms, and no nose said to another monster, one with yellow scales and flippers, "Poor kid, stepping on one of Lucius' exploding mail boxes." Across the street, a monster that looked like a cross between a slug and an old woman slid up to another mailbox. It also exploded, leaving a small crater.

Jimmy kept shrieking as he went up, only to run out of breath as he reached the arc of his ascent. Taking a mouthful of breath spray, Jimmy went back to shrieking as gravity took hold. Instead of hitting the pavement, however, Jimmy landed on a flagpole (With a red flag and a black emblem of an eye with horns) sticking out from a building, which bent under his weight. The snap back sent Jimmy flying again, this time deeper into the city.

"Woo-_hoo!_" Jimmy whooped, before landing on another flagpole. Unlike the first one, it didn't bend. Instead, it broke clean off. Jimmy went falling again, and landed seat-first in a garbage can. He stood up, and realized that the can was now firmly attached. He attempted to unstuck it, and wandered out into the street. Behind Jimmy, a car came up at top speed.

BAM!

At the large, ominous, birthday cake-like factory, a red figure in a suit walked out the front door. He was the same being seen on all of the television screens.

"Ahh!" Lucius Heinous VII sighed, "What a day! Absolutely _brimming _with misery!" He held a hand to his ear. Someone in the distance screamed. "The shrieks of terror! The moans of pain! The audible sighs of hopelessness! This is the sort of day where _nothing _can go wrong!"

Naturally, the universe couldn't let something like _that_ go unchallenged. The scream became louder and louder, something that Lucius couldn't help but notice. He frowned and looked around, trying to decide where the sound was originating. Noticing that he was now standing in a ever-widening shadow, Lucius looked up, just in time to see Jimmy come down.

But with no time to dodge the inevitable landing which he was the center of.

"Wah- hey, the can's off!" Jimmy realized, standing up. He noticed that the ground felt squishier than usual and looked down. Spotting the man he was standing on, he said, "Whoop, sorry about that, little guy."

Jimmy stepped aside and helped up Lucius- who found that indeed, this new kid was much taller than him.

"Hi, I'm Jimmy," Jimmy said helpfully, "What's your name?"

Lucius shot Jimmy a look that would have melted iron. And sure enough, the statue behind Jimmy- depicting Lucius on a horse, wielding an battle ax- melted. Jimmy remained unaffected.

"_I _am Lucius Heinous VII," Lucius growled, "And I _own _this-"

Lucius was cut off as Jimmy grabbed his hand and shook it energetically. "Nice to meet you, Lucy! This is such a great place, I just got here, and I'm already having the time of my life! It's so much fun!" Jimmy paused and squinted. "You know, you look familiar, but for the life of me I can't tell where." Behind Jimmy, another blimp with Lucius' face passed by.

Lucius took this moment to pull his hand out of Jimmy's grip. The now-asleep limb hung limply by his side. Scowling, Lucius fixed Jimmy with another iron-melting look, and another statue melted.

"_As _I was saying," Lucius growled, "I am Lucius Heinous VII- _SUPREME RULER OF MISERYVILLE!"_

A wall of fire blasted up behind Lucius, to which Jimmy commented, "Cool effect!"

"_I _say what goes, here," Lucius thundered, "And if you want to keep your torment at less-than-extreme, you do what I- Did you just say its fun? _Did you just call me LUCY?_"

"Yah-huh!" Jimmy nodded, grinning like a fool.

Lucius' eye twitched, then both eyes narrowed and steam poured out of his ears. Breathing heavily, Lucius snarled, "You said you've just arrived?"

Jimmy, still grinning foolishly, nodded again.

Now smiling far more deviously than Jimmy ever could, Lucius said, "In that case, why don't I give you a _welcoming _present? _SAMY!_"

A droopy, green imp of equal height to Lucius in a brown suit ran out from the doors. He stopped at Lucius' side.

"Yes, sir?" Samy asked, panting.

Lucius whipped out a megaphone and screamed into Samy's ear, "_RELEASE THE HOUND!_"

"Gah, my eardrums!" Samy wailed, and pulled out a remote with a single red button and pushed it.

The ground shook as the factory's well-cut lawn opened up, and a gigantic doghouse rose from below. It towered over Jimmy.

"What's in it?" Jimmy asked.

"Only the latest in Misery inc.'s Dogs of Doom program," Lucius chuckled evilly as he and Samy stood off to the side behind a police barricade. "This savage beast is impossible strong, designed to bring scads of woe and misery to all unfortunate enough to cross its path. It doesn't tire, it doesn't hold back, and it doesn't show mercy. I have named this pitiless killing machine…_Cerby._"

Out from the enormous doghouse's massive entrance bounded…a small round dog-thing with one big eye and four stubby legs.

"Aww, what a cute little guy!" Jimmy gushed, bending down to see better.

Lucius glared at Samy, as if it was _his _fault that the 'Dog of Doom' was too cute to strike terror into the hearts of Jimmies.

"What?" Samy asked defensively, "We only started the program an hour ago."

Lucius slapped his forehead in disgust. Jumping up, he pointed at Jimmy and yelled, "Cerby! _Sic 'im, boy!_"

Saluting (Somehow), Cerby rushed over to Jimmy and bit down on his leg. He then ran off, dragging Jimmy with him. The dog dragged Jimmy around in circles. To this, Jimmy laughed gaily.

"Okay…I was kind of expecting more mauling and less giggling…" Lucius muttered, and watched as Cerby took Jimmy away from the factory.

"We just met and you're giving me a dog?" Jimmy asked excitedly, and called back, "THANKS, LUCY! YOU'RE THE NICEST GUY IN MISERYVILLE!"

Lucius stared in shock at Jimmy's incessant cheerfulness. He then turned to Samy and said, "_You didn't hear that._"

"Of- Urf!- course not, boss," Samy snorted, fighting a losing battle to hold in his laughter, and said, "I'll just go, uh, do some things where you can't see or hear."

Samy ran off, and the moment he was out of sight, hysterical laughter filled the air. Lucius' skin turned white with anger as he shook furiously.

-End of Part 1

(A/N: It's the first chapter in the Secret Origin of Jimmy Two Shoes! There are a few 'origin stories' for Jimmy floating around, and I wanted to toss my interpretation into the mix. According to Edward Kay, co-creator of the show, the original concept was that Jimmy was trapped in Hell(Or a reasonable facsimile) due to divine clerical error. Now, something like that would _never _pass on a kids TV program, (Dern Moral Guardians) so they had to change quite a bit. I like the concept though, and tried to include something like it into my fan-made origin story. I'm not saying Miseryville is Hell, but it IS not a place you could get to by mortal means. I also changed a few things from how Jimmy, uh, 'died'. I'm trying to be as vague as the creators are with the setting so as not to go against the show's canon. Also, those 'robe guys' that decided Jimmy should go? They're the Auditors of Reality, from Terry Prachett's Discworld books. I included them in the story because, like I said a moment ago, I'm trying to be vague here, and those guys are VAGUE. Also, that kid Jimmy runs into? Little hint for you about him; He's appeared in the show before. Until part 2, farewell!)


	2. Beezy and Heloise

Prologue-

"Velcome back to Miserypiece theater," Dr. Scientist began, drinking something from a 'World's Best Grammy' mug. "Last time, ve saw vhat kind of life Jimmy lived before coming to Miseryville. We even saw how he got to Miseryville, and how he met Lucius and Cerbee."

A voice off-screen cleared its throat.

"Oh, right, and Samy," Dr. Scientist added after some thought, "But now ve watch as Jimmy intergrates himself into Miseryville, and meets his two bestest friends in…"

_**The Secret Origins of Jimmy Two Shoes**_

Part 2-

People- if such a term could be used- out and about in Miseryville were greeted to an odd sight. It consisted of a very small dog dragging a young lad with blond hair around. What made this truly odd was even though the dog's jaws were clamped firmly on his leg, the boy was laughing and cheering. They watched as the dog dragged the boy towards the Miseryville park. It looked like any other town park…except it was filled with monsters. Even the little animals living in it seemed off, having only one eye or mismatched fangs. Jimmy didn't seem to notice (Or care). Cerbee came to a stop, and spat Jimmy's leg out. It now had a dent where the dog's teeth had been. As Jimmy shook the dent out, Cerbee began to dig in the ground.

"Aw, what's-a matter, little guy?" Jimmy asked in baby-talk, "You lookin' for your bone?"

The hole Cerbee dug was empty, and it would have been filled with Jimmy had the boy not bent over to scratch behind Cerbee's ears.

"Oh, don't worry, Cerbee-boy," Jimmy cooed, "You'll find it next time. I have trouble finding things too."

Cerbee sighed, and began to stamp his left hind leg. A pair of horns sprouted out from his head.

"Whoa! That's new." Jimmy commented, retracting his hand. Spotting a stick on the ground, he picked it up and waved it in front of Cerbee. "Hey, boy, you wanna get the stick? Do ya? Do ya do ya do ya?"

Cerbee panted and bounced happily. This was fun!

"Fetch!" Jimmy yelled, and heaved the stick. It landed in a stream. "Oops."

Cerbee, not to be deterred, chased after it, diving into the water. Before long both dog and stick were out of sight.

"Um, Cerbee? You don't have to fetch the stick anymore," Jimmy called out, "Hello?"

When Cerbee didn't return, Jimmy stuffed his hands in his pocket and walked off, whistling nonchalantly. A rumbling of the stomach reminded Jimmy that he was hungry. In all the excitement he had plumb forgotten. That was when a magnificent scent wafted into his nostrils.

"_Popcorn…_" Jimmy sighed, being lifted off his feet and carried away by the smell. He followed the scent of freshly popped and buttered corn across the field in a dream state, vaguely unaware of his surroundings, or the monsters his feet, dangling as he floated in the air, kept hitting.

"Ouch!" One monster with three eyes grunted as Jimmy's left heel dinged his ear.

"Watch it!" the middle head of a three-headed monster growled.

Jimmy kept floating along, heedless of anyone else's yells. Eventually, his olfactory journey reached its end. Jimmy resumed obeying the laws of physics and beheld the source of the wonderful hot, buttery corn smell.

A giant pile of popcorn! Easily the size of a building!

"Yet another reason why Miseryville is the best place ever!" Jimmy cheered. He was about to dive into the popcorn and gorge himself when he heard a loud chewing from the other side of the pile. Looking, Jimmy saw a large red, horned monster with a tail, lounging on the ground. The monster was almost naked, except for a pair of black shorts. The red guy would stick an arm into the pile, take a fistful of popcorn, and throw it into his mouth. The creature didn't have very good aim, though- only about half of the popcorn made it into his mouth. The rest littered the ground around his body.

Jimmy walked up to the monster. "Um, excuse me? Hellooo?"

The monster glanced at Jimmy. "Huh?"

"Is this freakishly huge mound of popcorn yours?" Jimmy asked.

The monster thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Yah-huh!"

Jimmy felt his stomach rumble and got straight to the point. "Would you mind if I had some?" He put on his biggest, most endearing smile. "PLEEEEEAAASSE?"

The red guy scratched his chin, wherever it was. "Well…I suppose…but only because I don't understand that last word you said!"

"You mean please?" Jimmy asked.

"That's it!" Big red declared.

Jimmy shrugged, and plunged his hand into the pile. Taking out some popcorn, he squeezed it into a ball. Spinning the popcorn ball on one finger, he rolled it across his shoulders, bounced it off his other elbow and into his mouth.

"Mmm," Jimmy murmured as he chewed, "Popcorny goodness in a ball!"

Jimmy continued to make balls of popcorn, and continued to toss them in his mouth in ways befitting a member of the Harlem Globetrotters, theme music included. The red monster watched in amazement.

"I've _never _seen anyone put that much excessive movement into eating before," He commented, awestruck. "Why would you do it like that?"

Jimmy shrugged, sending another popcorn ball into the air. "What can I say? Helps build up an appetite." He held his mouth open for the falling ball.

The red monster's eyes widened. "You mean…excessive movement will help me eat MORE?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yah-huh."

The red monster stood up suddenly as a cherubic choir filled the air. Jimmy looked around and saw a light-purple monster in a black suit with his mouth wide open.

"AAAAAHHHH…" The monster sang.

Jimmy was about to say something to the 'Ah Guy' when the red monster grabbed him.

"Forget that guy! Quick!" Red yelled, "More excessive movement! We need to build up my appetite!"

Jimmy thought about it. "Uh, how about dancing? That's pretty excessive."

_("Quick, let's change the scene before they start!" Dr. Scientist interrupted, "Now, now!")_

In the large factory known as Misery Inc, there was an office. A very large office. This office had a large desk, a large chair, a VERY large painting of Lucius. In fact, this office was large in every single way except for one; it's occupant.

Lucius Heinous VII sat at his giant desk in his giant chair as across from him, Samy delivered a report.

"…And so, with luck our newest product should be ready to hit the shelves within a week," Samy read off a sheet of paper. He pulled out a jar with the Miseryville emblem on the label. "the Misery Jar! In it is the most delicious jam in the universe! But the jar can't be opened! Observe!"

Samy attempted to twist the lid off the jar, but failed. He continued to do so until he fell over. In fact, he kept trying even on the floor, running around in circles like Curly of the Three Stooges.

"Exxcellent," Lucius hissed evilly, "The thought of the best jam in the universe being just out of reach will _really _increase their misery! Anything else to report?"

Samy gave up on the jar and threw it aside. It bounced off the wall and struck him in the ear.

"Ow!" He winced and looked at the sheet. "Um, we might have to cease production of the exploding mailboxes. They're costing too much to replace."

Lucius waved a dismissive hand. "Fine, whatever. Those were starting to grow old, anyway. Who came up with something so stupid, anyway?"

"You did, sir." Samy replied. Upon seeing Lucius' angry glare, he backpedaled. "Er, ah, I mean, someone _else _said you did, but they must be wrong! I'll go punish them later, uh, whoever they are."

"Whatever." Lucius growled.

Just then a ringing occurred. Samy answered his cell phone. "Yes? Yes…what? Really?" Looking up, he said to Lucius, "It's about your son, Beezy!"

Lucius rolled his eyes and said sarcastically "Oh, you mean my son, 'Disappointment'? What is it, has he fallen asleep in the road and blocked up traffic? Order MORE giant piles of popcorn? Hmm? Or, gasp, has he actually turned over in his sleep?"

Samy asked his phone, "Could you repeat that…okay," To Lucius he said, "No, he's moving! Excessively!"

Lucius gasped. "_Really?_" His eyes watered. "Oh, I knew this day would come. My boy's inner Heinous has finally awakened, and he's begun spreading misery!"

Samy listened some more to his cell. To Lucius he said, "Actually, it's more like…happy dancing."

Lucius' jaw dropped. "_WHAT?_"

Lucius jumped out of his chair and over his desk. Running down to the opposite end of his office, he pushed a button on the large computer stationed there. The first thing the screen shown as it came to life was the big red monster doing some bizarre, walking-in-place dance, a stupid grin on his face.

"Beezy…_dancing!_" Lucius shrieked, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. "How can this be?"

Just then, Jimmy cartwheeled in front of Beezy, laughing like a loon. The two on screen paired up into a weird polka step.

"_**Him!**_" Lucius growled, his voice dripping with venom. "I should have known…"

"Isn't that the kid from earlier?" Samy asked, walking up.

Lucius turned away from the screen, unable to watch anymore boogying. Tapping his chin, he muttered, "If that brat could get _Beezy _to act like that, then this could just be the beginning!" He gasped, "The people of Miseryville might actually become…" He shuddered to even say it. "…_Happy. _Something must be done!"

"Don't you have some unmatch power as supreme leader?" Samy asked, confused. "Why not just…" He waved his erratically. "…You know?"

Lucius regarded Samy and laughed. "Puh-leez! You don't actually think that little wart is worth the effort, do you? I _hardly _think this 'Jimmy' would require such a display. No," he turned back to the screen to glare at Jimmy's image some more. "I think it's high time I stopped playing around."

Samy cocked his head. "But didn't you just say-"

"It's time I did as all great leaders must do, and delegate!" Lucius declared, pointing a finger in the air. "We must call in the big guns!"

Samy nodded. "Right. I'll contact Molotov and have him mobilize the army, so-"

"The _army?_" Lucius interrupted, "I didn't mean _real _guns you twit, I meant _metaphorical _guns! We must utilize the skills of Misery Inc.'s foremost expert in torment and causing misery- besides me," He grinned. He frowned. "We must call in _Heloise!_"

_("_Now _ve are cooking vith gasoline!" Dr. Scientist declared, "Let's go back to Jimmy and Beezy now zhat zhey are done dancing, yah?")_

Back outside, Jimmy and Beezy were sitting where the pile of popcorn used to be, arms over each other's shoulders. Most of the popcorn had been strewn mindlessly aside during the course of their bizarre dance, but neither of them cared. They were too busy laughing.

"That was incredible!" Beezy guffawed, "I never knew excessive movement could be…uh…is there a word for the total opposite of depressing and soul-crushing?"

"Fun?" Jimmy suggested.

"Yes! That's it! Fun! Teehee!" Beezy giggled. Calming down, he stood up. "Name's Beezy J. Heinous. I don't think I've seen you around here before, unless you've always been here and I never noticed. I'm like that."

Jimmy also stood up. "I'm Jimmy…uh, just Jimmy for right now. Say, those horns look familiar…and your last name is Heinous…do you know the little red guy at the factory?"

"You mean my dad, Lucius?" Beezy asked dully.

"That's him!" Jimmy cried, and noticed Beezy's depressed look. "What's up?"

"Oh, my dad's always on my case," Beezy sighed, "He keeps saying I should do more to spread misery, and says I'm disappointment incarnate. That kind of stuff hurts."

"Oh, I'm sure he doesn't really mean it," Jimmy assured, patting Beezy on the back. "He probably just has your best interests at heart, and wants you to do your best."

"Really?" Beezy asked. At Jimmy eager nod, he went "Yay!" and pulled Jimmy into a tight hug. "You know, if there was a word for the complete opposite of sworn enemy, I'd use that to describe you!"

"You mean friend?" Jimmy asked from the folds of Beezy's tummy.

"Ooh, ooh! That's a good one!" Beezy giggled, "Friend…" As jimmy pulled himself out of the suffocating embrace, he said, "Nothing could ruin this friend-ness now!"

Just then two new friends found themselves in the middle of a large, ominous shadow. A pair of giant robotic feet landed behind them with a mighty ka-thump, tossing them into the air. The feet were connected to a coal-black steel cylinder, with pipes sticking out and spewing black smoke.

Looking up at it, Beezy commented, "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have said that."

A large, person-wide tube extended out from the bottom of the walking cylinder. The open end stopped just over Jimmy. Jimmy looked up into it.

"Can I help youaaaaahhh!" Jimmy began when the tube sucked him up.

"Jimmy!" Beezy gasped. As the tube retracted into the cylinder, he ran over and began to punch a leg. "Give me back my Fra- uh, my free- hold on, fru- wait, that's not it…"

As Beezy mulled distractedly over the correct pronunciation, a small window opened up on the leg. A boxing glove on a spring shot out, clocking the Heinous in the jaw.

"Dancing is the new waffle iron…" Beezy groaned as he fell.

_("Ooh, right in zhe kisser!" Dr. Scientist cringed)_

While Beezy kissed dirt, Jimmy found himself in an interesting situation. He was now in a pitch black room, save for a spot light in the center he stood in.

"Hello?" Jimmy called out, "Is anyone here? Helloooooo?"

"Are you Jimmy?" A voice from nowhere asked in dark, echo-y tones.

"Yyyyes…" Jimmy replied slowly. This was starting to creep him out. "I'm Jimmy…who are you?" He looked around. "…Are you a _friendly _disembodied voice?"

"…You've gotta be kidding me." The voice grumbled, sounding less dark and echo-y.

Someone stepped into the light. It was a girl, about less than Jimmy's height. Her hair was dirt blond, tied into a ponytail. She had ice-blue eyes which bore a look of cynicism. She wore a red gown that covered practically her entire body, except for her head and hands, with a slight tail.

"_You're _the new kid that's got Lucius all worked up?" The girl demanded, fixing Jimmy with an appraising look.

"You know Lucy?" Jimmy asked, giving the girl a friendly smile. She didn't look so bad…

The girl raised an eyebrow. "…Lucy?"

Jimmy nodded eagerly. "Yah-huh! You know him? He's the nicest guy in Miseryville!"

The girl burst into hysterics. "BAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH! Lucy! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Jimmy began to laugh along with her. He didn't know what was so funny, but…

_("You know vhat zhey say," Dr. Scientist said, "Laugh, and zhe vorld laughs vith you!")_

The girl finally calmed down, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye. "Okay…heheh…you've officially won my respect."

"Great!" Jimmy said cheerfully.

"But not my mercy!" The girl whipped out a remote with a single red button and pressed it.

Out from the floor an operating table popped up. A pair of metallic arms shot out from behind it and grabbed Jimmy, then pulled him so he was lying on the table. A helmet with wires sticking out and beeping lights was stuck onto his head. The table was angled so that Jimmy was upright.

"You know, I don't think I got your name." Jimmy remarked.

The rest of the room was lit up to show that it was a metallic silvery place, with computer terminals and modems, like something out of science fiction. The girl made a few adjustments on one terminal before walking(?) up to Jimmy.

"_My _name is Heloise," She introduced, "Misery Inc.'s number one inventor. 'Lucy' asked me to…" She snickered evilly. "…_Take care _of you."

Jimmy was nonplussed by Heloise's sinister nature, nor by his bonds. Instead he said, "That's awfully nice of him. First a puppy, and now a personally caretaker? What next?"

Heloise had just put on rubber gloves and safety goggles. "What, indeed…"

Heloise pulled down a large switch and suddenly Jimmy became ground zero for a gigantic surge of electricity. He jerked and convulsed as the voltage ran up and down his body. Heloise watched the sparks fly for a few minutes, causing his skeletal structure to become visible, before pushing the switch back up.

"Not so peppy _now_, are ya?" She asked as she moved towards Jimmy. She was pleased with the smell of burned flesh coming from his body.

Jimmy shook his head. "That…was…great!"

Heloise stopped. "What?"

"I've never felt such a rush before!" Jimmy cried, "And my nostrils…" He took a deep breath. "They've never been so clear! Thanks, Louise!"

Heloise stared at him. "Heloise. It's pronounced Heloise."

"Gotcha," It was then that Jimmy noticed a scar on Heloise's forehead. "Ooh, that looks bad. How'd that happen?"

"_AAAHHHH!"_

"_Stay still, boss, I got this! End of the line!"_

_BAM!_*****

"I walked into a door." Heloise said in a deadpan voice.

"Oh, sorry about that." Jimmy said awkwardly. He looked around. "So…anything else you wanna do?"

Heloise smiled. It was not a pretty sight.

The second machine she put Jimmy in was like a mass of giant, metal hands. They poked him, they squished him, and he was treated like the pizza dough of an overeager chef.

"I've never gotten a free massage before!" Jimmy said as he was twisted around. "And I can't believe how much tension was in my shoulders. Woo!"

Next Jimmy's hands were strapped to a giant fan. When the fan went on, not only did it blow him away, but also had the additional effect of spinning him around. In short time his arms and fingers were stretched beyond what was considered healthy.

"Suh-weet!" Jimmy cheered. "Now I'm like Mr. Fantastic!"

After returning Jimmy's arms and fingers to their original length, he was placed into some kind of giant water filter system…only instead of water, it was boiling hot lava. After the machine spat him out…

"Wow!" He gasped, shaking his wet hair back into its original poof. "That was a like a sauna and water slide wrapped into one!"

And so it went. Heloise would put Jimmy into some kind of awful, pain-inducing torture device, and he would find some positive spin on the situation. He didn't even seem aware that he was supposed to be suffering.

"That was _great_," Jimmy sighed after the umpteenth machine failed to upset him. "I don't think I've had so much fun before in my life," He bent down and patted the dumbstruck girl on the back. "Thanks, Heloise."

Heloise went rigid with shock. He was hugging her! She was being hugged! Nobody in Miseryville hugged her! She was never hugged in Miseryville! Probably because she would have slaughtered anyone foolish enough to try, but this sudden embrace took her by surprise.

"You-you-you…you really _liked _all of that?" She asked, her eyes darting all over the place.

"Yup. Now I know why Lucy asked you to take care of me," Jimmy stepping back. He turned to look at the machines and commented. "And these things are _totally _cool! Where'd you get them?"

Heloise rubbed the back of her neck. "I made them myself…like I said, I'm an inventor…"

"Neat-o!" Jimmy cheered, "You must be really smart! I'm glad to have met you!" He declared.

"Re-really…?" Heloise asked in a small voice.

Jimmy flashed Heloise another goofy grin. Heloise, her face twitching, nervously returned it.

BUMP

"Gah!" Heloise shrieked, falling back.

"What's up?" Jimmy asked, cocking his head,

Heloise didn't answer him. She cautiously moved her head over the left side of her chest…

BUMP

Heloise gave another shriek and jumped back up. Sweat began to run down her brow.

"Is something wrong?" Jimmy asked, concerned. He bent down to Heloise' level and reached for her forehead. "Are you sick? Do you have a fever?"

Heloise slapped the hand away frantically. "No! Yes! Whatever! I…gotta go! So I can…uh, go!"

A door opened up on one wall, and Heloise charged for, crashing through the wall to the left of it. She left a Heloise-shaped hole in her wake. Distant crashing noises suggested she was ignoring subsequent doors.

Jimmy waved goodbye. "Kay, you do what you need to do!" He called out, "And be sure to wash your hands when you're done!"

-End of Part 2

(A/N: Another chapter done, and thanks all the reviews…both of them. In this chapter, I wanted to establish how Jimmy met his future best friend Beezy, and future secret admirer Heloise, as well as the basis of their relationship. For Beezy, I wanted something food-related, since his name is based on Beelzebub, representative of the Sin of Gluttony. Because Beezy is, as they would say, 'sharp as a bowling ball' I didn't want to make things too complicated. "He showed how to enjoy eating more! He's cool!" sounded just about right. Plus, Jimmy's little pep talk, unknowingly false as it was, on how Lucius actually liked Beezy. Heloise requires some- bum bum bum!- backstory. According to Edward Kay, Heloise was a former serial killer back on Earth in the original pilot. That scar on her head was from a shoot out with the police. That's been changed in the main series so that she's always been a Miseryviller. Here's what I think; After Heloise died on Earth, she was reborn in Miseryville, unlike Jimmy, who's supposed to be alive and is thus an outsider. In any case, Like in the pilot, Heloise is tasked by Lucius to torture Jimmy and break him. However, Jimmy has so much fun with her that she falls in love. Here's the critical thing I wanted to make clear; Heloise isn't used to people _liking _her. I doubt she's ever _tried _be on friendly terms with people, but still, most, if not all, of her life is centered on torment. Then comes this happy-go-lucky guy who decides she must be really nice, and well, that affects her. According to Edward Kay, she's drawn to Jimmy because there's something about super innocent guys that 'appeal to her last shred of humanity.' I wanted "Wait, this guys _likes _me?" to be the seed that would grow into Heloise' obsessive love for Jimmy. BTW, the thing at the end with the BUMP and Heloise freaking out is taken from the live action _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_ movie. Also, this chapter marks the first appearance of the Ahh Guy! Yay! See ya till Part 3!)

(*) Dialogue from HELOISE'S DEATH by Super-Cute on Deviantart


	3. HeyHeyHey, Jimmy Two Shoes!

Dr. Scientist was doing needlework when he realized that he was being watched. Throwing the quilt away (Hitting a cat out of sight) he turned to the audience.

"Velcome back to Miserypiece Theater!" He said, rubbing his hands eagerly. "Before the previous break, we saw how Jimmy met his two best friends, Beezy and Heloise!"

The quilt came flying back- from the opposite side- and hit Dr. Scientist directly in the mouth. After a few moments of struggling, Dr. Scientist managed to spit the thing out.

"Yuck, threaddy!" Dr. Scientist groaned, before remembering himself. "Um, yes, anyvay, vatch with us as ve see the third and final part of…"

_**The Secret Origins of Jimmy Two Shoes**_

Part 3-

Outside of Heloise's walking torture chamber, Beezy was still fast asleep. Aside from the occasional comment on the price of platypus bills, he snored lazily.

Then Jimmy fell on him. Beezy woke up with a start.

"So _that's _what that button does…" Jimmy muttered, staring up at the legged building. He didn't seem to realize that he was sitting on Beezy's tummy, but Beezy did.

"Jimmy, you're back!" Beezy gasped, standing up. Before Jimmy could fall he hugged him. "And your front! You're all here!"

"Hey, Beezy!" Jimmy greeted, and pointed at the mobile structure. "You gotta see what's in there! It is so sweet!"

Beezy shook his head. "Nah, that thing is too punchy for my taste. Let's go do something that won't damage my jaw."

And with that, Beezy dragged Jimmy away.

_("And vhat is Heloise doing, you may ask?" Dr. Scientist poised rhetorically)_

In another part of the cylinder was a room full of scanners, Tesla coils, turning cogs, and other mechanical doohickeys. Heloise stood before a console with thousands of buttons and switches. A giant screen was above it.

"Computer, analyze." Heloise ordered, "What's happening to me?"

She pushed a button. A ray of light shined over her for a second.

"Processing," an electronic voice responded. After a few seconds, it said, "Analysis: Blood rate has increased, due to heart beating."

"My heart is beating? I have a heart?" Heloise asked, confused. "_Why?_"

"An increase in heart rate may be caused by intensive physical exercise." The computer answered.

"Well, I did jog all the way up here…" Heloise admitted before saying, "But I wasn't _doing _any intensive exercise when this…heart-beating started!"

"Other causes are related to experiencing fearful situations…" The computer suggested.

Heloise scoffed at this. She didn't experience fearful situations. She _created _fearful situations!

"…or as a result of falling in love." The computer finished.

Heloise raised an eyebrow. "…Lah-ove?" She said, rolling the unfamiliar word over her tongue.

"Love," The computer defined, and a picture of a pink heart appeared on the screen. "A strong affection for another arising out of kinship; A warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion."

"Well, that's ridiculous!" Heloise protested, "I've never felt anything for anyone, ever! Not Lucius, not-" She gagged. "-Samy, no one!"

Heloise turned away and frowned. She noticed a light fixture on the wall resembled Jimmy's head and recalled what he had said to her in part 2;

"_Now I'm like Mr. Fantastic!"_

Heloise growled. "Not _that!_"

Oh, right;

"_I'm glad to have met you!"_

Heloise's heart went BUMP again, but this time she didn't react. She was too busy smiling in a way that was completely unlike her, without a trace of malice or sinister intent. Plus a gooey pinkish feeling was filling her head. She realized what was happening and shook herself out of it.

"A-anyway, what's Jimmy doing now?" Heloise asked, her voice warming slightly when she said 'Jimmy.'

"Subject is no longer within Mobile Lab." The computer reported.

"_What! He's gone?_" Heloise cried, and got angry. "Where is he?"

"Scanning," A picture of a turning gear appeared on screen. Then it said, "Subject found."

The screen showed the outside Miseryville. Jimmy and Beezy were standing on a hill. Next to them was a bathtub with wheels. They were talking about something (The audio was turned off) and gesturing to the tub. Jimmy laughed and playfully punched Beezy's arm.

"That's Lucius' ugly lump of a son!" Heloise realized.

Seeing this caused a _horrible _black feeling to erupt inside of Heloise, overpowering the pink, gooey warmth she felt moments before. It was like being on fire and frozen solid at the same time. She turned away from the screen just in time to miss Beezy give Jimmy a punch of his own.

"_WHY,_" She hissed, her eyes twitching. "_IS. JIMMY. WITH. __**BEEZY?**_"

She was so consumed by a fury she didn't recognize that she didn't notice Jimmy falling the tub and rolling off, with Beezy in hot pursuit.

Heloise whirled back at the computer and screamed, "_Why didn't you alert me earlier!_"

"No such notifications was reques-"

That was as far as the computer got before Heloise whipped out a battle ax three times her size and smashed the console with it.

"Never mind!" She yelled, storming off. "I'll go get him myself!"

_("Vow," Dr. Scientist gulped, "Remind me to never get Heloise mad!")_

In the streets of central Miseryville, Lucius Heinous VII and Samy were out for a stroll. Well, Samy was strolling, Lucius was standing on his head. Samy's, that is. In any case, Lucius was whistling a happy tune.

"You're in an awfully good mood, boss." Samy noted, straining slightly under the weight.

"How could I not be?" Lucius sighed, and hopped off of Samy's head, much to the minion's relief. "Just thinking about how Heloise is giving Jimmy the works puts a smile onto my face," He rubbed his hands as he chuckled evilly. "Oh, I can't wait to see how miserable he is!" He paused. "What's that sound?"

'That sound' happened to be an ever-loudening cheer, and its source became all too apparent to Lucius in the next moment. Barreling down the sidewalk was Jimmy in Beezy in the bathtub. Samy managed to dodge them, but Lucius wasn't so lucky.

THWAMP!

Samy stared as Jimmy and Beezy happily rolled away from them. "Huh, that doesn't look so miserable," He looked down at Lucius' flattened form. "Does that look miserable to you?"

Lucius refused to dignify that with an answer. Instead, as he peeled himself off the sidewalk, he growled, "What happened to Heloise?"

Lucius got his answer when a pair of giant robotic legs ran by, once again squashing him flat.

"_Jimmy!_" Heloise yelled, her hands gripping the controls.

"Oh, there she is." Samy noted. Lucius moaned in response.

Heloise, meanwhile, was closing in on Jimmy. But it wasn't happening as quick as she liked. So, she pushed a button marked LEGS OFF, and a pair of rockets activated under the feet of her robot walker. She soared high into the air, did a magnificent triple-flip with half-gainer, and landed directly in front of Jimmy and Beezy's runaway tub. This caused a minor collision.

BANG!

Both Jimmy and Beezy went flying. A large extended from Heloise's cockpit and caught Jimmy. Beezy wasn't so lucky, and landed in a garbage can nearby.

"Hiii, Jimmy!" Heloise greeted, giving a wide smiling. "Remember me? That girl you're 'glad you met'?"

Jimmy was a little rattled from the collision, but he recognized her. "Yeah, I know you…Heloise, right?"

"He pronounced my name properly!" Heloise giggled to herself. Then she grabbed the cuff of Jimmy's shirt, leaned in close, and growled, "Why did you leave me?"

The force of her yell blew Jimmy's hair back, but also got rid of the grogginess. Wiping a bit of spit off his face, he replied, "Well, you were gone for a long time, so I got bored. Then I started pokin' around with stuff, and before you know it, I was outside. Then Beezy suggested we go tub-riding and here we are. Well, we're not tub-riding right now. You shouldn't jump in front of moving vehicles, it's dangerous…"

As Jimmy babbled endlessly about traffic laws and rabbits of a different color, Heloise looked off to the side. Beezy had just pulled himself out of the garbage can. They glared at each other.

Meanwhile, Jimmy was busy wrapping up his babble. "…And then coyote steps out into the road and- Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't you come tub-riding with us?"

Heloise looked back at Jimmy and smiled hopefully. "Really? With _you?_"

Jimmy missed the subtext of Heloise's question and replied, "Sure, the more the merrier! If two are better than one, than three is even better than that!"

"Unfortunately, we can't go tub-riding with Heloise, or anyone," Beezy cut in peevishly, and pointed. "_Someone _broke our tub!"

Jimmy and Heloise looked back at the tub. A single wheel had fallen off.

Jimmy began to say, "That doesn't look so b-"

Then a second wheel fell off. Then it disintergrated.

"…Oh," Jimmy muttered, when suddenly his eyes popped open with a 'ding.' "I know! Heloise is an inventor, maybe _she _can fix the tub! Then we can all go tub-riding!"

Heloise rubbed her chin in thought. While she didn't like the idea of fixing something that she had broken, especially something that had belonged to Beezy, the newfound desire to do not-evil things to Jimmy was making itself heard in a loud voice enhanced by a megaphone. An idea came to her, and she grinned evilly.

Minutes later, Jimmy and Heloise were blasting away in a rocket-powered bathtub, with Beezy being dragged along by a rope. Though at the speeds they were going at, it wasn't so much 'dragged' as 'flailing about helplessly.'

Samy, who had witnessed all of this couldn't help but comment, "Well, don't that beat all."

A mangled red hand rose up from the ground, grabbed Samy by the throat and pulled him down. At the same time, Lucius managed to raise his mangled head.

"Samy," He gasped angrily, "Remember what I said in part 2 about metaphorical guns?"

"Y-yes?" Samy choked out.

"I changed my mind," Lucius hissed, "Get me some _real guns._"

_("In case you have not noticed, Miseryville does not use metaphors very often," Dr. Scientist explained, "So sometimes ve need specification.")_

Meanwhile, Jimmy, Beezy, and Heloise had ended up in a field outside of Miseryville proper. The rocket-tub had become impaled into the earth, but none of them seemed to mind. They just sat in the field laughing.

"That was hilarious," Heloise snickered, "Especially the part where Beezy's rope snapped and he went hit the ground."

"Hey!" Beezy said sternly- before he laughed. "You're right, that was funny."

The three of them began to laugh again. Calming down, Jimmy stood up and brushed himself off.

"You know, when I was coming to this strange, new place, I was a bit worried," Jimmy admitted, "But after meeting its people- including you guys- I realize how foolish I was. There's nothing to worry about in Miseryville! Except for that shaking."

The three of them looked around. The ground _was _shaking, causing small pebbles to bounce up and down from the force.

Jimmy pointed in one direction. "Hey, what's that?"

'That' happened to be an incredibly large army of minotaurs, all dressed up like roman gladiators. They were armed with swords, shields, flails, battle axes, maces, and other kinds of medieval weaponry. They all wore scowls, grimaces, and other unfriendly expressions. There was an occasional tank following the hoard, some bearing the flag of Miseryville.

"Oh, that?" Beezy waved a dismissive hand, "That's just the entirety of my dad's merciless army. He always sends it out whenever he wants to wipe a single target off the face of Miseryville in a brutal display of gratuitous, excessive military force."

"Um, guys, they're kinda heading in our direction." Heloise pointed out.

The army's wasn't just getting closer, it was heading directly towards them. As the mass mob of minotaurs neared the trio, a niggling idea sprouted up in the bottom of Jimmy's mind. The army continued their approach as the idea burrowed its well up through Jimmy's grey matter, fighting it's way to the surface.

Jimmy's eye popped open. "I know what this is about…"

The army was a measly 5 yards away when Jimmy stepped forward and held out his hand. "Stop!"

Amazingly, they did. Armies are meant to take orders, and it never occurred to their trainers that people _outside _the leadership could give them.

Jimmy chuckled sheepishly. "C'mon, guys, you shouldn't have. Lucy shouldn't have gone to the trouble. Now he's thrown me a parade? I'm getting embarrassed!"

"_Parade!_"

Lucius leapt out in front of the crowd, Samy following me close behind. The tiny ruler of Miseryville was ticked; he was breathing heavily, and several veins were visible. His eyes were bloodshot with rage.

"_What _makes you think this is a parade?" Lucius demanded furiously. He would have pounced on Jimmy, but was held back by Samy. "And _why _would I throw a parade for _you!_"

"Well, you've already given me a dog and personal caretaker," Jimmy explained jovially, "What else could this be?"

Lucius' eye twitched. "That dog was supposed to _bury you alive!_ And _Heloise!_" To her, he said, "I am _very _disappointed in you! Siding with the enemy!" He pointed at Jimmy and raved, "_The enemy!_"

Heloise just rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't get your horns in a twist-" she smirked. "_Lucy_."

That was a mistake. Lucius actually began to froth at the mouth. Incomprehensible words of anger fell from his mouth as he sputtered, "Ag- You- Ho- Wek- Mig- Her- Ak- Him- _Lucy!_" Heloise, Beezy, Samy, and the minotaurs wisely stepped back.

But not Jimmy. Instead, he bent down and patted Lucius on the back. "See, this is why I said you shouldn't have. You don't need to go to so much trouble on _my _account, Lucy."

That did it. Lucy's eyes became red with an unholy fire. For a moment it looked like he was about to throw the granddaddy of temper tantrums. Then he calmed down.

Looking at the minotaurs, Lucius remarked, "You know, I just realized; aside from the tanks, there's not a single gun _in _this army." Then he pointed at Jimmy. "_ATTACK!_"

The minotaurs raised their weapons high in the air and roared. Sensing that things were about to get real, Heloise stepped in front of Jimmy and held out her arms protectively. Beezy, sensing the same thing, stepped behind Jimmy and cowered.

Then, far, far, _faaaar_ in the back of the army, something crashed. Everything stopped, as everyone looked back. A tank had been flipped over, along with a bunch of minotaurs. Then more minotaurs were knocked over. Another tank was flipped over. In rapid fire succession the entire army was being battered aside as something shoved and pushed its way towards the front.

"Wait! What's happening?" Lucius cried in alarm, "_Stop!_"

But it didn't stop. A whole lot of dust was being kicked up to, so those nearer to the target point couldn't see what was causing it. As it got closer and closer, Lucius grabbed Samy (Who was trying to creep away) and used him for a shield. It was of no use.

CRASH!

It took a few seconds for the dust to settle. When it did, the entire army, all of the minotaurs and tanks, had been knocked to the ground, Lucius and Samy had been trampled. And standing right in front of Jimmy, Heloise, and Beezy, was Cerbee.

The dog spat a slightly splintered stick at Jimmy's feet.

"…Good boy, Cerbee." Jimmy said at last.

Lucius pulled himself. There was a murderous look in his eyes. He stalked over to Jimmy, ready to commit bodily harm when he looked up and stopped. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. Confused, everyone else looked up and gave similar (But exact) expressions of surprise.

Floating above the crowd were an innumerable amount of empty hoods.

"Oh, hey, robe-dudes!" Jimmy waved, "What's up?"

One said, we have come to undo the mistake that was made.

"Mistake?" Lucius asked, "_What _mistake?"

One said, Jimmy was not the one meant to come to Miseryville.

"I wasn't?" Jimmy asked.

"He wasn't…" Lucius murmured, thunderstruck. Then, slowly, a smile appeared on his face. Walking over to Jimmy, he said, "Well, so sorry about the mix-up, doesn't normally happen, be sure to write when you get to…wherever it is you're supposed to be. Ta-ta, goodbye, and _good riddance_!"

Jimmy looked down, depressed. "You mean I have to go? But I just got here…"

One asked, the prospect of living this place upsets you?

Jimmy nodded. "Heck, yeah! I mean, look at all of the great friends I just made!"

He reached his arms and pulled Beezy, Heloise, Lucius, and Samy into a hug. Cerbee hopped onto his head. All of them except for Lucius were smiling.

"Let go of me…" The tiny ruler of Miseryville growled.

"Miseryville is such an awesmazing place…" Jimmy said. (You think so, one asked) "It just doesn't feel right to leave after getting settled in."

"Well, no one cares what you have to say about it," Lucius insisted, pulling himself out of the hug. "The mysterious floating hoods have spoken! You must _leave!_"

We said nothing about making Jimmy leave, one said.

Jimmy dropped his friends and lucius and clapped his hands together, his eyes twinkling. "_Really?_"

"Yay!" Beezy and Heloise cheered.

"No!" Lucius cried in dismay. He ran up and grabbed one of the hoods. "You can't just leave him here!"

Let go of me- one said before vanishing in a puff of improbable logic.

He wishes to stay, one said.

"But-but-but…" Lucius sputtered, "Why even _come _here then? Aren't you suppose to correct your mistake?"

We did, one said.

The one who was supposed to come to Miseryville has arrived, one said.

_("And VHERE is this vone the hoods are speaking of?" Dr. Scientist asked rhetorically, "Let's vatch!")_

In the forests near Miseryville, a monster that was dressed like a carnival barker was roasting weenies over a fire. Then something fell out of the sky and into a bush. A pair of squirrels ran out of it- only to be grabbed and dragged back in by a small grubby hand.

Intrigued, the monster peered into the bushes for a better look. "'Ello-'ello-'ello! What's this, then?"

_("Okay, we've seen enough, back to Jimmy!" Dr. Scientist declared)_

"So I can stay?" Jimmy asked, his eyes getting big and shiney.

If you want, one said.

We won't force the issue, one said.

"Yahoo!" Jimmy whooped, leaping into the air- then froze. "Wait, hold on."

What's wrong now? One asked.

"I just realized," Jimmy admitted, lowering himself back to the ground. "I don't have any place to stay."

"You can stay at my place." Heloise suggested .

"See," Jimmy explained, "I just sorta dropped in…"

"I've got plenty of room!" Heloise added.

"…And with everything that's been happening…"

"Lots of neat stuff!" Heloise continued, holding up a blinking gizmo.

"…It just slipped my mind up until now," Jimmy finished, having not heard a single thing Heloise said. "I don't suppose you guys have any ideas, do you?"

Heloise opened her mouth to repeat her offer when Beezy shoved her aside.

"No problem, new best bud o' mine," The younger Heinous began, unaware of the daggers Heloise was staring into him. "You can bunk with me. I've got plenty of food- and room, too."

"Really?" Jimmy asked, "We can live together?"

"Sure!"

"No!" Heloise snapped, grabbing Jimmy's hand. "Stay at my place!"

Annoyed, Beezy grabbed Jimmy's other hand. Jimmy looked from girl and Heinous, realizing that something painful was imminent. He gulped.

There is no need for that, one said.

Everyone looked at the hoods.

Your house is on 26 Misery Street, one said.

"Really?" Jimmy asked, and ran off, dragging Beezy and Heloise behind him. "Let's go check it out!"

As Jimmy pulled his friends back towads Miseryville, Cerbee ran after him, barking. Lucius stared them, thunderstruck.

"Now you're giving him a _house_?" He demanded angrily, "You're not supposed to be this nice!"

Lucius looked up to give the hood's a tirade face-to-face- figuratively speaking. Much to his surprise, they were gone.

"Um, isn't 26 Misery Street near where _you _live?" Samy asked.

Lucius' eyes went wide and his iris' shrunk.

_("Vonce again," Dr. Scientist intoned, "Veeeeery spooky!")_

By the time 'Jimmy's gang' had gotten to Misery Street, Beezy and Heloise had started walking under their own power. Now they walked down the sidewalk with Jimmy as his arms, comically stretched out, dangled limply at his sides. Cerbee bounced ahead, occasionally sniffing new things.

"You're going to love it here, Jimmy," Beezy assured, "I live on Misery Street too."

"Me too," Heloise added, fluttering her eyelashes. "We'll be so _close!_"

"That is awesome, you guys," Jimmy replied, "Maybe you can tell me what my new house is like?"

"Actually, I didn't know there _was _a house on 26!" Beezy admitted cheerfully.

"There isn't," Heloise remarked, more to herself. "I wonder what those hoods were talking about…"

Jimmy gasped and pointed. "They were probably talking about _that!_"

There, directly between the slightly pungent garage of a gigantic foreboding mansion and a modern-looking house, was a traditional white cottage with a slanted red roof. It looked like the kind of house Jimmy used to live before coming to Miseryville. Heloise and Beezy stared in shock at how clean and…_bright_…it seemed compared to all of the other houses on the block. Jimmy let out an excited squeal and began to run around the house, zipping in and out of the doors.

"And look!" He called from the backyard, "There's even a little doghouse for Cerbee-boy!"

Cerbee gave the little hut an inquisitive sniff before going inside and making himself at home.

The insides were well-furnished as well. The walls were a bit bare of pictures, but Jimmy knew it wouldn't be long before they were filled to the brim. He was literally bouncing off the very same walls with excitement at the thought. Once he stopped bouncing he turned to his friends (Who had followed him inside) and grinned.

"HOUSE PAR-TAY!"

And so, in short time, Jimmy and company were chillin' in Jimmy's new living room, eating Miseryville snacks, watching Miseryville TV, and listening to Miseryville music.

"So, what's this called again?" Jimmy asked of the sandwich he was eating.

"It's called a gruggly burger," Beezy explained sagely.

"Huh," Jimm took another bite. "Y'know, where I'm from, we call these things 'quarter-pounders'."

"That's a weird thing to call a gruggly burger." Beezy remarked.

Jimmy nodded and swallowed. Looking up, he bobbed his head to the music and asked. "This is an awesome song, who wrote it?"

"It's the latest hit single from Runny and the Nosebleeds," Heloise answered, inching closer to Jimmy. "I can lend you some of my albums if you want…"

Neither Jimmy or Beezy noticed the pair of shackles Heloise was discreetly pulling from her dress. It didn't matter. The doorbell then rang.

"I'll get it!" Jimmy declared, getting up just as Heloise pounced. While Jimmy walked to the front door, Heloise ended up chaining herself to _Beezy._

"Nice shackles," Beezy commented, and sniffed. "Why do they smell like rose water?"

Heloise grumbled.

Meanwhile, Jimmy opened the front door to see none other than Lucious Heinous VII

"Oh, hey, Lucy!" Jimmy greeted cheerfully, "What's up? Come to join my swingin' house party?"

"No, I didn't come to join your stupid house party!" the tiny ruler of Miseryville snarled, "I came to tell you that you've made a big mistake."

"Oh, I _know_," Jimmy sighed, and rubbed his belly. "That tuna-melt zucchini pizza was a mistake, but it was Beezy's treat, and I didn't wanna hurt his feelings, so I…"

"I'm not talking about stomachaches!" Lucius interrupted, "I mean your decision to stay in Miseryville!"

"What about my decision to stay in Miseryville?" Jimmy asked.

Lucius turned away, glowering. "You'll learn that Miseryville is _not _the kind of place people _willingly _stay in! Oh yes, soon you'll be _begging_ to go free, I know it!" Lucius whirled about and pointed dramatically at Jimmy. "Miseryville is no place for a goody two-shoes!"

Jimmy gasped. Then, something inside of his head went 'click', like a light bulb being turned on…a very small light bulb. A big smile grew on his face.

"Two-shoes…" He murmured, before yelling, "That's a _great _name to have here in Miseryville! Thanks Lucy!"

Jimmy slammed the door on Lucius, sending the diminutive monster flying. He landed in a puddle.

SPLASH!

"Ugh…" Lucius groaned, getting up. As his clothes dripped, he wondered, "It hasn't rained yet, where…"

Cerbee barked and bounced away. Lucius realized that the puddle was _yellow_ and shuddered. Looking back at Jimmy's house, he faintly heard the newcomer in question yell, "Hey, Beezy! Heloise! Guess what? I'm _Jimmy Two-Shoes!_"

Lucius rubbed his eyes. "I'm going to lose a _lot _of sleep over this…"

-End Part 3

"And zhat's the end!" Dr. Scientist finished, "Good night!"

"WAIT!"

"Huh?" Dr. Scientist sat up right in shock as Molotov burst in.

"You did not include me in this, maggot!" The leader of the Heinous army yelled angrily.

"And you didn't show when Heloise made her Jimmy shrine," Dorkus commented, hopping onto the scene. "And why did Jimmy just add 'Two-Shoes' to his name like that? That was never established before as a problem."

"Well…" Dr. Scientist began, unsure.

"And _what _was the _deal _with those floating hoods?" The Schwarzentiger asked, "I mean, is this a crossover with Discworld or not?"

"I…"

Pretty soon more background characters appeared and starting complaining about a lack of screen time or other plot holes in the story, while Dr. Scientist looked more and more uncomfortable. These words appeared on the screen.

**THE END**

Jimmy, Beezy, and Heloise stared at the screen.

"Is that really how it happened?" Jimmy asked, bewildered.

Beezy and Heloise just shrugged. Jimmy picked up his TV remote and pushed a button.

(A/N: Story ends! Yay! There's not much to say here, and I'm sure you all have your own questions…but I don't feel like answering them. Jimmy Two Shoes isn't a deep show, so I didn't bother to make a deep story. Just something silly…like he is. However, I've just remembered there was something I wanted to add. Lucius' comment on how he's going to lose sleep is a reference to the bags under his eyes he has on the show. I thought that before Jimmy showed up, Lucy's life was a lot less nerv-wracking. So…good night!)


End file.
